My bio says that I’m an aspiring writer & blogger. While that’s technically true, I haven’t written very much.
Over the past seven years, I’ve written only twenty-six entries on the blog. I have only two fanfiction that I’ve written that have actually been somewhat successful. Yes, I’ve written other stories, but I never complete them. Why? Well, I intend to get to the heart of that today.
The Heart of the Problem
I am autistic and bipolar and have severe depression and anxiety. One of my biggest problems is my lack of motivation. It’s why I haven’t uploaded anything to YouTube in a while. It’s why I don’t keep my blog updated, and it’s why I can’t put pen to paper when I get an idea.
You see, I have great ideas. My problem is that I lack the motivation to bring these ideas to fruition whether it be a story or a video.
My lack of motivation is the major crutch in my creativity. I have ideas, but I never do anything with them.
What Will I Do?
I’m seeing a therapist, and have already had four sessions with him. I’m seeing him again on Friday, March 31st. I haven’t discussed this issue yet because I want to make sure I’m comfortable telling him about this, as he’s obviously going to ask what I intend to write, and I’m not sure how he’ll react to me being a brony. He’s been cool so far, but we’ll see.
Once I’ve talked to him, hopefully, he’ll give me some pointers on how to better motivate myself to write.
I also will be seeing my psychiatrist next month, and I want to try some alternative therapy for my depression, such as ketamine. I think this could also potentially help with my lack of motivation and give me the boost I really need. We’ll also see how that goes.
What Happens to my Current Stories?
I have a story I’m in the planning phase of right now. Yes, I’ve decided to outline this story before writing it, and depending on how things go, I might end up writing the entire thing before posting it.
What About My Future?
If you’ve been here before, you might be aware of my plan to live in a van and travel. Well, that plan is mostly changing. More likely than not, I will be a long-haul truck driver. While I work that job, I will post here on my blog, maybe upload to YouTube, and write stories.
All in all, I think I have a solid idea for my next story, and I don’t want to post one or two chapters, then let it sit without any updates for Celestia knows how long. I want to do this right, but I have to work on my motivation issue first.