I first read How Many Friends Have You Made Today?, and How Many Have You Forgiven Today? back in October 2017. Since it’s been four years, I decided it’s time to reread them and check out the third in the series, How Many Lovers Have You Made Today?
Warning: These stories divert significantly from canon, contain mild sexual themes, profanity, and human/pony romance.
Enter Anonymous. A human who just appeared during the Discord debacle and is thrust into a world he doesn’t understand. The Elements of Harmony see him as an enemy who is in cahoots with the lord of chaos.
This human was treated poorly by the Elements and other residents of Ponyville to the point of him becoming a social recluse. The mayor practically threw the deed to a house outside town in his face.
Enter Princess Celestia, who started flying through Anon’s window every day and asking if he’s made many friends.
Every day, Anon made tea and sat down with Celestia to chat. No, he hadn’t made any friends.
Things changed when he acknowledged the Goddess of the Sun as his friend. Thus began our story.
Anon was a social recluse who had been shunned by those around him shortly after being inexplicably placed in Equestria. Celestia took him to live with her in Canterlot and punished those who had wronged him, specifically the Elements. Anon kept a list of ponies who had hurt him in some way.
At the top of this list, is Twilight Sparkle. A pony who took him in, and was initially nice to him, became obsessed with his nature and had to know more.
Rainbow Dash tried to “prank him” by shooting lightning at him, which he barely escaped. While ponies aren’t really harmed by this, humans are killed. She wouldn’t even give him a moment to explain how it’s lethal. Obligatory It’s just a prank bro.
Rarity sent him on a death mission because he didn’t want her to make his clothes, and Applejack bucked the shit out of him because he thought her apples were just “fine.”
Fluttershy gave him the stare, which triggered the wrong emotion. Though he would later remove her from his list, as he deemed it unintentional.
Rumors were spread around town about him, such as him stealing apples from Applejack, and trying to take Mr. Cake’s wife.
Of the elements, Pinkie was the only one to never have a place on his list. She gave him a room and showed him kindness when nobody else would.
After being punished, Twilight and Spike returned to Canterlot to continue their tutelage under Celestia.
Luna began teaching Anon how to dream walk, but he started to get curious about Nightmare Moon, who resided within Luna’s mind.
Eventually, Nightmare Moon protected and comforted Anon, turning Luna against him in the process.
The candy shop subplot is rather interesting as well. Anon ran a successful candy shop in Canterlot alongside Lyra and Bonbon. Lyra took a romantic interest in Anon which lead to him breaking it off from the two for a while.
Celestia and Luna decided to court Anon. This part of the story isn’t one I feel comfortable recapping, so you’ll need to find out for yourself.
I was very disappointed with Luna when she dragged Spike into this mess. She did so to hurt Twilight, but it inadvertently resulted in Anon having to save her.
Twilight decided to make it a goal of hers to befriend Anon. She asked him for help with something, and he began to tolerate her presence. He even defended her when she found out Shining Armor and Cadence had been dating for two years and didn’t think to tell her.
There are hints at a coming Changeling invasion. Luna even spotted one at the festival that took place toward the end of Book 3. Also, Rainbow Dash tried to Kamakaze Anon…
So, what do I think of this story? I think it’s great. Amazing even. Yeah, there are some grammar issues here and there, and typos are not uncommon either. I can tolerate that, as it’s not overly distracting and doesn’t take away from the story.
Overall, I’d give this a solid 4/5.
I’m looking forward to the final book in the series, How Many Enemies Have You Made Today? I will do another recap/review of that once I’ve read it.
Also, this quote is 👌🏻
“Huh … That’s pretty fucked up.” Anon looks at Blossom. “That’s pretty fucked up, right?”
Blossom nods. “Yeah, in my professional opinion, I’d say it’s pretty fucked up.”
“Well, there you go. It’s pretty fucked up.”